Monday, 2 July 2012

My heart belongs to: America.

Today I shall big up the old US of A, in preparation and celebration of July 4th. Yee ha. Because that is totally how they all talk. Because they are all cowboys. Although some of them are movie stars. Although some of them are both. (Please refer to John Wayne).

It has always been a bit easy to mock America because we englishers are smug that them americans don't get irony. Are we sure about that? They have brought Dallas back WITH JR IN A NURSING HOME. 


To me, America is the home of shopping, I frickin' love it there. You can buy what you want, on whatever day you want for not so very much money. Admittedly I may have been in eye-wateringly-expensive-closed-on-Sundays-and-quite-a-lot-shuts-down-in-the-winter-too Norway for too long, but I revel in all that consumer availability. I am both shallow and unapologetic for it.

But, to balance all that commerce out, Americans are good people who will build you a jolly big and fabby house for free. Often in the rain. And often with a country music star in tow. And Xzibit. I know because I have seen Extreme Makeover Home Edition. Although normally I am crying by the end (or even quite soon in to it) so I may have a couple of details wrong there.

Plus it is full of friendliness. And whilst I am aware a lot of it is customer service rather than genuine pleasure at how delightful I am, I still like it. Norwegians are brilliant and all but they are tough nuts to crack. And to crack a smile from. It is nice to have some shiny superficiality. 

Oh dear, I seem to have called the nice Americans shallow cowboys, and this was meant to be lovely and in praise of the States. 

I shall try again tomorrow.

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