Saturday snapshot: the most New York photo of all of them, even the one with the Empire State building in fog.

Ahh, 5th Avenue, yellow taxis. 

The only thing more New York would be a picture of Woody Allen eating a bagel.

Another American story for you in what turns out to be the longest post ever as I try to point out what to expect in Vegas despite the fact that it is probably only me that was even a little surprised.

Yeah, so despite all the research I normally do, I didn't bother with so much on Vegas, because you know, it's Vegas, it's kind of obvious. Really, what do you need to know?

No-one told me you have to queue to take a picture. 

Firstly, and in my defence, we obviously went there to get married and we were there for something like six days before that happened, so we had a little time, but we needed to get rings and a suit for my honey and our paperwork done, so there was a bit of a to do list, it wasn't just a drinking jolly. So when we went to the Coyote Ugly bar (yes, really, I liked that film, secretly quite a lot actually), I just wasn't feeling the urge to lean backwards against the bar and get 'free shots for the ladeez' and take my bra off. Shame on me. 

Pure class, that place.

So, Vegas, it is full of casinos. Yep, for reals. Not sure why that was anywhere near a shock, but it was a bit. I think it is the sheer volume and relentlessness of them all. 

All worth it with the Fonz.

I have no idea what happens if you spend longer than a few days there, the whole world is in one street, when you walk past New York City to a pyramid to Paris to Venice it is really rather disconcerting. Especially if you aren't expecting to see Camelot or a big old pirate ship on the way.

Pretty sure he's in it for the boobs.

It turns out that buying things wasn't so easy - we had to special order our wedding rings and have tailoring adjustments to the suit. They were all shocked that we wanted it done in the next couple of days, at one point it did seem like we wouldn't have wedding rings. Uh, hello wedding capital of the world?

Shiny new rings.

Brilliantly our wedding chapel was down the strip between a petrol station and motel with adult movies and short rent rooms. We tried to get the photographer to take some photos with the Adult Movie sign in the background but she was having none of it. It is just possible they might consider it bad publicity I suppose..

Not a porn motel in site.

I totally should have watched The Hangover before we went.

Another American post in which I tell you a little story about how me and my husband were a little silly...

We decided to get married in Las Vegas and planned it all in a couple of weeks so that we could get married on the anniversary of the date we met. I know, right? Couldn't be any cuter. Anyway, despite my usual obsession with endless holiday research, I didn't do so very much - enough to choose our hotel and get decent flights and that was about it.

We stayed here - the Trump hotel - and I loved it..

The whole hotel tower is shiny and gold. 

Turns out it isn't like Friends when you rock up drunk and just get married by mistake, or perhaps its easier if you are American, but we had to get some paperwork done and buy rings and a few things so it wasn't just hanging out there by the pool.

We decided to take a trip to the Grand Canyon while we were there, and started off small with a little drive to Red Rock Canyon..

That was our gigantic hire car.

Then we thought we would go to the Grand Canyon, I didn't fancy a helicopter trip where you hover over and fly back, I wanted to drive ourselves so that we could do what we wanted on the day. Plus we had an awesome big car.

Yeah, no. It's like a 7 hour drive each way. Suddenly not possible when you only have a few days left and need to get married on one of them. 

So really the moral of this story is for my husband to not take the piss so very much when I spend hours planning trips. It's probably better if I do.

Still, the trip was fabby and we did get our happy ever after.

In praise of America #2 - bring on the cute, the big and the happy.

1.   Where else can you get something so patriotic and ridiculously cute?

(From this shop)

2.   I know Denny's isn't cool. But I love this place, love their breakfast diner food and big fat white mugs.

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3.   Doggy bags - love that they know you paid for your food and should get to finish it if you want to (am not even saying anything about the HUGE portions that mean you need a doggy bag in the first place).

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(And I have never had a foil swan, but I totally know they are real because I have seen one on Friends).


4.   Shiny happy sales assistants.

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Look, look how happy they are.

5.   It's frickin' huge - I know people make snotty jokes about the high percentage of americans who don't own a passport, much less use it, but wanderlust aside, they kind of don't need to. America is huge and has it all - mountains, desert, coastal resorts, amazing cities. 

They also have an ancient tar pit with fake dying animals right in the middle of LA.

Awesome. Love it all.

In praise of America - five awesome things in no particular order...

1.   M*A*S*H - only the best TV programme ever.

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2.   Cheddar cheese Ruffles - just yum.

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3.      Big suburban houses - so many bathrooms.

4.   Big empty roads - so much space.

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5.    Las Vegas - so unbelievably extreme in so many ways.

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Sorry for being inadvertently snippy yesterday, America, hope this makes up for it.

My heart belongs to: America.

Today I shall big up the old US of A, in preparation and celebration of July 4th. Yee ha. Because that is totally how they all talk. Because they are all cowboys. Although some of them are movie stars. Although some of them are both. (Please refer to John Wayne).

It has always been a bit easy to mock America because we englishers are smug that them americans don't get irony. Are we sure about that? They have brought Dallas back WITH JR IN A NURSING HOME. 

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Delicious.

To me, America is the home of shopping, I frickin' love it there. You can buy what you want, on whatever day you want for not so very much money. Admittedly I may have been in eye-wateringly-expensive-closed-on-Sundays-and-quite-a-lot-shuts-down-in-the-winter-too Norway for too long, but I revel in all that consumer availability. I am both shallow and unapologetic for it.

But, to balance all that commerce out, Americans are good people who will build you a jolly big and fabby house for free. Often in the rain. And often with a country music star in tow. And Xzibit. I know because I have seen Extreme Makeover Home Edition. Although normally I am crying by the end (or even quite soon in to it) so I may have a couple of details wrong there.

Plus it is full of friendliness. And whilst I am aware a lot of it is customer service rather than genuine pleasure at how delightful I am, I still like it. Norwegians are brilliant and all but they are tough nuts to crack. And to crack a smile from. It is nice to have some shiny superficiality. 

Oh dear, I seem to have called the nice Americans shallow cowboys, and this was meant to be lovely and in praise of the States. 

I shall try again tomorrow.

Am totally loving a bit of animal jewellery.

Not Animal from the Muppets, although am sure that is cool too.


More like this..

Look at the little frog clasp, just so darned cute.

This is all from J Crew, who now have all sorts of shipping and shopping options for the UK. But let's not tell my husband that, let's tell him I need a trip to the States instead. 

I really want a little frog. 

My heart belongs to L.A. #1

Actually, that isn't totally completely true, I liked LA, but didn't totally love it. I think it was because there isn't a centre or a main thing to do. I think it confused me. And I couldn't walk around. I totally want to go back and try again, because you know, its LA and clearly awesome.


We did do some LA stuff - saw Grauman's, looked at the Walk of Fame, had dinner in Bel Air with Jennifer Aniston at the next table. You know, the regular things.


And we saw the Hollywood sign.


Yeah, the Hollywood sign. In the picture I took my dear husband is in focus, the Hollywood sign is a bit blurry. In his, I am totally out of focus but the Hollywood sign is crisp and clear.

I'm pretty sure that means something HUGE.

My heart belongs to: Denver #3

You may have noticed that I quite like Denver (see here). We were there for 10 days or so last year and I thought it was awesome. Great city, great country around it, great shops... you get the idea. They have it all. I also like a dinosaur.


So, for me, maybe the best of all? Dinosaur footprints.

They are staggeringly old.

And literally awesome.

And they have crocodile tracks.

The whole site is astonishing. 

To get the facts and figures behind all of this go to the Dinosaur Ridge website.